In one word: piquant.
Serve with smoked cheddar cheese.
You know you want to.

Recipe loosely based on Cook Republic’s Apple Chai Spice Jam.

Gather:
1/4 brown onion
2 tbsp dark brown sugar
Cracked black pepper

5 small apples (or 3 large ones)

1/2 cup dark brown sugar
Juice of one lemon
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp allspice
1/8 tsp ground cloves
1/8 tsp star anise

Then:

1. Very finely slice the onion, then add it to a medium saucepan with the 2 tbsp brown sugar and a good whack of black pepper. Slowly cook over a low heat, stirring occasionally, as you…
2. …quarter, core, peel, and very finely slice the apples.
3. Once the onion has softened completely and the sugar has turned into dark syrup (but before it thickens too much) add the apples and the rest of the ingredients to the saucepan.
4. Raise the heat a little, and stir well to combine.
5. Cover and cook for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Turn the heat down if it’s bubbling too ferociously.
6. Remove the lid, and continue cooking on a low heat — stirring occasionally to avoid sticking/burning — until the apple has completely softened and the liquid has reduced down to an almost jam-like consistency.
7. Once you’ve got something resembling a gooey chutney, remove from the heat and store in the fridge in an airtight container until cheese-platter o’clock.